CREATING TENSION​
Allowing the divine to work wonders
The Time I Was Lost
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I have found myself 'lost' many a time. One 'lost' memory stands out.
I had made the decision to leave my job in London and I had very little money to my name. I now lived in limbo, not really living at all, waiting for something wonderful to happen TO me.
Around a month earlier I had received an email with an offer of a free ticket to a seminar in London about 'Unleashing Your Genius'. I never go for self-help talks or books - I feel there's nothing they can tell you that you don't already know deep down. I believe what does work is the moment when you turn up or pick them up, because this is when you're announcing a readiness and preparation for change. My gut told me to go, and despite umming and ahhing, I decided that I was not being productive, and something had to change.
The man running the seminar said that 1200 people sign up for these talks to 'change their life',
and yet he knows to only ever put 300 seats out in the auditorium.
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Most people cry over wanting change while also doing everything to resist it.
He asked us how much we really desired change. We'd turned up - that was more of an effort than the 900 who hadn't, but how far were we willing to go?
As someone who has never enjoyed spending time around a lot of people, preferring to walk along the beach or in the woods by myself, I did my best not to feel swallowed by the audience. The lesson of the day was based on 'super-geniuses' and the rule we needed to apply to tap into ours:
Create tension. Don't do what is comfortable because you know what is safe based on past experiences. At this point, the speaker asked for a hair band, and I waved mine in the air. He held it up and stretched it in front of the crowd, and said that when tension is created, our response is to relieve that tension using old habits. He released the hairband gently so it flopped. Then he stretched it again, wider.
The key to unleashing your genius is to do what you love and not give in to the tension.
Create it, hold it there, and do not give into fears. He kept stretching the hairband. It symbolised taking a new direction instead of leaning on old habits. It symbolised trust. He then created more and more tension, until eventually the hair band was at such a point of tension that it pinged off his fingers, as if we would all fly.
It takes courage, that's for sure, something often viewed as stupidity. Did I have this much courage? I was dabbling with the idea of moving to Brighton. I thought to myself; that isn't creating tension - that is crazy. You have nothing there, Hayley. No friends, family, job, little money ..nothing! But I knew in my gut that I should move to Brighton. I was following my heart, and the heart never leads us astray.
I was already creating tension. I was cutting myself free of the things that didn't serve me anymore, but now it required more than that - it required risk. I asked myself what I had to lose. After weighing up how rotten I had been feeling, I understood I really didn't stand to lose anything at all. So I decided to trust my intuition.
I looked at some rooms in Brighton during the break and fired off twenty messages. By the end of the seminar, I had replies. Everyone wanted professionals (and I had no job there) so lost all hope anyone would take me. Only one man had replied who seemed unbothered by my career path. I called him and was completely honest. I was going to Brighton with an idea and that was it - at that time, it was to be a spiritual healer.
This was how my week went once I started to listen to signs and act on them: I was offered a room viewing (granted, it was the size of a cardboard box at an extortionate price); on the Tuesday I visited Brighton to see it; on Wednesday, I was offered the room and said yes before my brain could get involved; on Thursday, the one person I vaguely knew of in Brighton did a shout out on social media looking for bar staff; we spoke on the phone that day and I had my first job before arriving in Brighton. I said my goodbyes, packed my bags, and on the Sunday, loaded everything I owned into my little car, drove to Brighton and moved my life in. During this whole process, EVERYBODY, including myself, had convinced me I was completely crazy. And yet, within a week, by creating tension and proving to the universe I was serious about change, I had indeed changed my life.
The path I was actually destined to take in Brighton shocked me. I went with the intention of healing, but instead I ended up getting signed on to writing courses, finding souls who were familiar to me, and writing my first collection of short stories and a NOVEL. It was a place I was meant to be and opened me up more than ever, especially to change. I took a risk, created tension, and sat with it. We always should be sitting in it! Otherwise, how will we ever know what we are capable of? The only time we meet our true wonderful selves is when we pull it out of our arses when we have to. Create the tension, sit with it while you do what you love, and know that there is a time to act. You'll know. Just trust your gut.
1200 people decided they needed change. A quarter of them decided they would actually turn up to make it happen. I implore you to make a change if you are in a rut. Tension gifts us all moments in time we will never forget. Create tension. Sod what the mind says or what other minds say. Create incredible moments you never knew were possible, not by letting go of fear, but by feeling it and going with it. You can sit with the 'what ifs' forever, but if we're playing that game, what if there is someone or something wonderful around the corner waiting for you, and only your own fear is holding you back?
Trust and take a leap, and then watch as the universe catches you.
Manifestation Thoughts
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We've all read the posts, and some have been coaxed into buying the books or attending the courses. I'm not sure about you, but in my experience I have read and listened for hours as someone goes round in circles or nowhere at all regarding manifestation, and how to get what you want with the law of attraction. There always seems to be the 'one rule you're missing' and every article or speech nearly always leads towards selling an expensive book or course, and every time someone doesn't end up a millionaire they feel cheated.
Stop paying through the roof for a spiritual experience.
Haling, knowledge, and the universe are inherently in all of us.
By all means, pay somebody to teach you about something, like astrology or breathwork, but be discerning. If something says 'Why The law Of Attraction is NOT WORKING FOR YOU', have a word with yourself. That's cheap advertising. Authenticity is your best friend.
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I will now detail manifestation as it is true to me:
Rule 1: Remember that you ARE a manifestation. Your purpose is to BE. Every single soul has a unique path and what is true for one person is not true for another. To move around in your vessel (the body), accepting things as they are, and uncovering your truth is all you need to be doing.
Rule 2: What you want and your soul want are probably very different. You want a dashing prince charming... Your soul wants you to keep finding yourself alone until you realise self-love. Be aware that if what you are manifesting is not something your soul desires -- that is something born out of love and lessons -- you may still get your wish after banging your head against doors for years on end, but the inner peace you are being guided towards is probably going to be missing.
Tell the universe what it is you're manifesting. Physically say it out loud. Write it down. Does it actually feel right? Can you feel your ego needing millions of Instagram followers while your soul wants to set up a cooking school? You get the gist!
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Rule 3: At this point you are told to start acting as though it has already happened. We stand with a sword and say 'I deserve this!' and 'I deserve that!'. Actually, nothing is about what you 'deserve'. You are worthy of everything, yes, and to realise that starts with accepting everything as it is in this moment. Taking time to sit in silence on your own with spirit gives you all the worthiness you need. You realise that nothing is 'good' or 'bad'. The universe isn't against you or punishing you, but that none of us can see the whole picture. We can't know all the reasons. We must simply be present with everything that chooses to be in this moment. Key word: GRACE.
Rule 4: LAY THE GROUNDWORK so it can happen. I spent my youth in a daydream, and if anyone could manifest on imagination alone, I'd say I was that person. I had career aspirations, love aspirations, and spent life in my own world where they were a reality all the time. I wasn't actually doing anything to make them come about (because they weren't really for me and I wasn't ready for that much success)! Anyone who's read Eat, Pray, Love will have heard the Italian joke about a man who prays before the statue of a great saint every day, begging to win the lottery. One day, the exasperated saint comes to life and says, "My son... Please please please... Buy a ticket!"
If you don't lay the groundwork, the universe can't catch you and you won't jump because you'll know you haven't prepared for it. By preparing, I don't mean wasting another ten years creating a website - put yourself in any situation where whatever it is you're manifesting can happen. If you're looking for a relationship and you don't speak to anyone, it's unlikely! If you want the job of your dreams and you're not networking and studying towards it - again, not likely to happen.
To actually chase what you're dreaming of is the most menacing and unnerving feeling. I'm still doing it and battling those demons everyday. The fears that enter our head of rejection and failure make us want to play it safe. There are times where you must take risks and go somewhere you haven't been before (i.e. create that tension). Only then will you find out something you didn't know before!
Rule 5: You probably won't believe it can happen until you've got part way to achieving it, so fool everyone, including yourself. By laying the groundwork, doors start to open where they've been closed. Keep a look out for signs that either something better for the soul is meant for you, or that you need to change tack.
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The universe isn't going to pander to you.
It works via a set of cosmic rules and divine will.
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Examples:
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Falling in love. Do what you love. If you're not doing that for a job, then join a class you're interested in. If you're more interested in tango than drinking, you're unlikely to find someone stroll into the pub at 1am to tango their way to the bar. Join a dance group. Lay the groundwork for the universe to answer you.
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If you're already in love and the other person doesn't know it, you're going to have to make it known. That's your groundwork. Then you can free yourself, whether you marry them or not. Express your inner truth.
Purpose. Wear what you would if you were doing the job of your dreams (huge bit of magic). In this day and age, everyone wants to tell you that you can't do it, so be realistic and imaginative at the same time. Know what you need to do to get there, write down the steps and hop over them one by one. Go with your gut and own it!
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Important things to remember:
- Trust in the timings. If you feel as though you're hitting your head against closed doors, it does not necessarily mean whatever you're asking for is not right for you. There is a time for everything, and often due to other people and circumstances, we must be patient and trust in divine timing. It may be that you're blocking it yourself due to a fear of success or trying to grab it too tight, so once you put it out into the universe and put something in place to allow it to manifest; trust, relax and smile.
What is meant for you will reach you.
If you're sure of something in your gut, you may well be right - perhaps you chose a firmer challenge, learning more about perseverance and patience.
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- In order to manifest something and allow it in, we must be open and free of baggage. Therefore, let go of everything and everyone that drains you or you feel surrounds you with negativity. The whirlwind around you is everything, allowing or disallowing the wonderful things that await to reach you. Again, meditation and free-form dance are great for this, or just a few deep breaths visualising letting go and watching these negative energies leave your body and your life.
- Everything we experience is a challenge and a learning curve. What you are experiencing is important and not to be undervalued. In fact, often our darkest times end up being our greatest teachings. We are all a learner and a teacher. We must continue to learn and experience past pains in order to fire up our compassion and sensitivity - and it will become apparent why. Let everything break over you. It has to before it shifts.
- People's first manifestation question is always about money. You want to manifest money? Make it! The way to do that... Do what you love... Even when you have no money. If you're doing what you love with an authentic heart, the universe will deliver success and abundance. But you HAVE to first get this phrase lodged in your head:
Focus not on what the world can do for you, but what you can do for the world.
- Energy. Energy is everything, we're made of it, and so are our feelings. I watch it needlessly being given away all the time. I still have to keep myself in check too as it's so easy to lose! Hold onto your own energy. Pay close attention when you give it out or let yourself be drained, or when you find yourself focusing on other people too much. It'll shatter you. If you want to manifest a person and you already know them and have them in your head, you're already over there giving them your energy, as opposed to manifesting the right person for you. You can't manifest anything if you're not centred. Nothing can get to you, because you're not really there! You're somewhere else!
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To sum up manifestation:
- If it's something big, let those around you know that you will require their support and firmly let them know they are not there to judge. And that starts by not judging yourself and your thoughts.
- Take your energy back from places and people that drain it. Leave anything behind that doesn't serve you!
- Make sure it's what you want. What your soul wants. If it's to love, teach, heal or be creative, you've most probably hit the nail on the head.
- Either drop your fears or let them drive you, or simply acknowledge that they're there and carry on anyway.
- PUT YOURSELF IN A PLACE WHERE WHAT YOU'RE MANIFESTING CAN REACH YOU!