Limitless | How Not To Take A Selfie

LIMITLESS:

The How Not To Take A Selfie

‘Wildness is not to be curbed. It is to be the unshakeable core.’

Introduction.

Day five. Sensuality.

Day six. Creativity.

Day seven. Stillness.

Day eight. Risks.

Day nine. Understanding.

Day ten. All.

Introduction

As it says in the title, this is how not to take a selfie, but how to be a selfie.

Being alone is a wonderful joy when it can be appreciated as such. This is a guide for how, not to survive, but to thrive without the need for constant human interaction, and in doing so become more in tune with your mind and body. It is more than possible. It is inevitable.

As biological beings, we find safety in interaction and cohabitation, and it is great for our development. But our soul also craves to come into a union with itself -- empowering both the masculine and feminine in ourselves to become 'whole' (this is what the term sacred union means). It is enlightened individuals who have listened to their soul for a long time in silence. When we connect our soul with the higher power, we immediately have all we need. If we were to physically end up alone; in a prison cell / lose the person we are closest to / get caught up in a ‘desert island’ scenario, getting to know and rely on ourselves becomes imperative.

There is no better love or cherishing than our own thoughts being

nurtured by a part of us that knows peace and calm.

In ten short days, you will experience yourself in a way that brings you into a relationship with your soul. And in doing so, you will discover a greater understanding not just of self, but of those you are close to and everyone you meet day to day. You will even have an effect on those you won’t ever come into physical contact with!

Of course, in order to get anything out of these days, you must be prepared to commit. Spend as long as you wish to on each day. A lifetime of conditioning and fears takes time and dedication to transmute. I’ve watched fellow students drop off courses and then complain they did not get the most out of it – which is because they barely put anything in. No one else can bring about change for us. We can take the journey alongside each other, but then we all must go forward independently and in union the divine.

Throughout history, humanity has mistakenly focused on the teacher instead of their teachings. They believed they didn't have to take that step forwards themselves; hence why we are now emerging from the dark ages. We are responsible for sitting with God / creator / universe / science -- whatever you want to call your source.

Over these ten days, you will quite literally alter your inner energy and that which you create and put out into the world. You will begin to understand why a relationship with the divine is so important. Understanding how magnificent the potential in the air around you is will improve the new people and opportunities that come your way and create a power within that will help strengthen your intuition.

You’ve taken the first step.

Dedication each morning for ten days.

Ask yourself now if you will see this through.

Give yourself the chance.

Make a promise that you will keep.

Preparation

Lay out a blanket, mat, or towel on the floor in a personal space. Have this there for the next ten days (you can stow it away between use if you think it may be trampled on). Remember: this is your space, and your space only. If it is practically difficult, make it very clear to family/friends that this space is sacred to you, or make sure they do not know about it at all. It is not to be trespassed on or mistreated. It is yours, and that is to be respected. No ifs and buts. Find a way.

Now, find a few objects that fill you with positivity.

I have crystals, miniature fairy houses, gifts from true friends, and a little heart-shaped chalkboard that I can write messages on. Any images that evoke spirit or freedom for you – place them around or near the space you have laid out for yourself. Try not to go with real people in the images, but more of those that have feeling – for example, Goddesses that represent a power you’d like to unleash. Have a research. This is personal to you.

This is your space.

This is a place for you to take your worst moments.

This is a place to lay down with your arms stretched out and scream, ‘WHY?’

This is a place to pray.

This is a place to take all worrying thoughts.

This is a place to share openly with yourself.

This is a place to grieve and heal.

This is a place of no judgement.

This is a place to come and do whatever feels right in the moment.

This is a place to release anger, resentment, guilt, shame.

This is a place to remember your divinity.

This is a place of self-love.

Whenever you feel frazzled, out of joint, or you are sure that you have lost your mind, get to this blanketed space. If you cannot get there for a while, close your eyes and imagine yourself sat in the softness, and see the objects you chose around you. It is really important to remember that this safe space will hold you. You are worth that. The divine knows no limits.

The only other preparation you will need is to be aware of one thought:

Keep in mind that on this journey there is no comparison. I will say, ‘maybe you are angry’, or ‘perhaps you feel a lightness’. There is no race to the light, and no need for us to feel any particular way. How we experience our emotions is how they want to come through, and they require to be felt. They will come in and knock at certain parts of our bodies, and it is our choice to either surrender to them and heal, or for us to admit that we are at the beginning of healing and accepting as such. It does not make us less evolved, or stupid, or cowardice. Sometimes, those most suffering are feeling other people’s pain, or have agreed to have encounters that serve humanity as a whole. And at the very end, we are all one collective, no matter what our beliefs. Our pain is other people’s, as is our joy. We are one. No one can be left behind.

A quick side note: If you are here because you are suffering from depression and/or have been having suicidal thoughts, I implore you to speak with someone you trust as soon as you feel able. You are not a nuisance. People quite literally glow when they are able to provide support or even just a loving ear. Humans – like many animals – love to be of service. We also love to be heard. Most therapists and counsellors have entered the profession because they, too, have experienced extreme sadness, and so though you may feel alone, help is always available if you seek it. (I would also add here that a visit to a recommended and trusted healer can be extremely beneficial if you have not found the cause for a long-standing physical or emotional pain).

It is best to read through the chapters each morning (they are short and sweet), and then refer back to them if you need them as you go about the activities.

Ten days of coming into contact with yourself in an intimate and transforming way…

Let’s go!

Day One - Mirror

'Anything that scares you will have your heart until you are willing to retrieve it.’

Find a mirror.

Preferably one that reaches the floor. If you can sit on the floor comfortably with your legs crossed, do. If not, grab a chair.

Look.

For however long you are prepared to look, be with yourself as if you are across a table on a date. Focus on what you have done to your style over time – your hair, clothes you choose to wear, jewellery, and yes – your skin and weight. Notice the detail in whatever your eyes fall upon, and study your natural expression when your face is relaxed. See all of it, because this is the body you are in.

Of course, be mindful that this can be excruciating. Cry, if you need to cry. We all feel self-loathing at times in our lives, and we all have instances where looking in the mirror is unbearable. We might want to spit at ourselves, swear, shout, or hit the mirror (if this is the case, get to your safe space you set up yesterday, and use a pillow for the anger). Take time and do whatever comes to you. Understand now: there is no judgement – some might see regrets and the culmination of bad decisions, and others might want to outright harm the person in front of them. Equally, there is no judgement for those who are ashamed that they love what they see. How many people say, ‘I am so beautiful’? Very, very few, because we are taught that this is vanity and it is shameful, yet we constantly tell everyone else that they are beautiful. It is not vanity to look at the person in the mirror and say, ‘that person is beautiful’. If it is, then vanity is accepted here!

Feel. Earth is the dimension of emotion. We are here to experience all the emotions. Feel whatever it is your body wants to feel, because repressed emotion gets into our cells and becomes a part of who we are, curled up inside us until we release it. If it is a repulsion to thigh or hip fat, to a nose we think is too big, or towards teeth that are out of line, feel it. And then let it go. We must in order to move on to the parts of ourselves that we love!

Note: I have never been attracted to somebody because of physical beauty. Have you? Yes, you might have nice nails, or be working at growing your hair longer. Both are going to be destroyed in a matter of years. We know beauty is in the soul. The place to find it? The eyes.

Now, get as close to the mirror as you can, and look into your eyes. Make contact.

Once your initial reactions have been felt, focus in further.

Get lost in them.

One by one, switch to each and study one eye, then the other. Try and find the differences, the similarities, and gaze straight into your pupils. This can be even more daunting than the first task, because if we are willing to stick around for long enough, our soul will emerge. We see our past and our pain, and we also see our worth. We’re in there. A deserving person with feelings that must be felt. You might see experience and knowledge, or you might see innocence and playfulness.

It’s incredible to think that we go so long in our lives avoiding our own true selves; willing to focus on our hips but unwilling to sit and look into our own eyes, when all we do in the day-to-day is make eye contact with other people, introduce ourselves, and say thank you for their kindnesses.

Experience a moment where you are that person with yourself. Sit in awe.

After a time, start talking. Introduce yourself. You might want to reach out a hand and feel the glass, or simply wave and smile. Do what you would usually do when you are meeting somebody for the first time. Be with yourself in different situations;

A work meeting with yourself to decide how to make your dreams come true.
A date (perhaps over a morning coffee or an evening glass of wine).
A ‘first time’ bumping into someone who feels familiar. Be the one to tell yourself what you would like to hear someone say when they meet you for the first time.

Comment on what you are experiencing and tell yourself what you see. Smile and frown and laugh and scowl. Take these sights in. Make conversation. This is the first step of coming to know who you are.

Remember: if at times you are overwhelmed and cannot sit there any longer, throw yourself down in your safe space. Take yourself there and feel. You might want to thrash about, hit a pillow, scream and cry. Great. The more you are feeling, the more you are asking for healing. Release what wants to be released and return to the mirror. What we might find, as we so often do after making eye contact with someone, is that we want to be kind to them. We may feel drawn to speak to our self as a child, or as a mother, or we might wish to ask the wise soul in front of us many questions. We will find that we experience this as though we are two people. It is a good thing! We often think that we know ourselves well, but then this moment feels like an awkward first date.

(My experience: I remember a lot of laughter, a few tears, and moving past the initial awkward exchanges. I carried on. I got to know myself as I would if I was meeting me on the street. And then there were huge lapses of silence, which I valued just as much. I spent time asking questions, and responded. This is an ongoing practice that I swear by, and if I am not following my intuition or do not know the answer to something, I remember I can have a conversation with the person I trust most.)

If we rush this initial process, we do not benefit. It is a worthwhile conversation to have.

When you are done, write a short note to yourself on the experience of this interaction. Again, there is no judgement, so for you it may have been initially horrifying, and then you could have argued with yourself the whole time, or been angry with the exercise. This is understandable, and okay. If it is, you have felt strongly, and this is a step in right direction.

Do your best to work through any issues – if it helps to visualise, see yourself as the two halves of a married couple. As you argue with yourself, remember that you are also the marriage counsellor behind it, working towards some sort of unity.

When we take this time to speak to ourselves in the way we would another person, accepting the person in front of us, the pain will ease and a whole new wave of self-acceptance and joy will sweep through. Gradually introduce yourself and get to know yourself over the course of these little dates.

Optional take-it-further:

- Experiment with ways you express emotion. This can be through voice – talking to the mirror or even singing, writing in a diary, physically bashing a pillow, sitting in your safe space and allowing the feelings to come through in breaths, or dancing wildly. It might be all of them! There is even an eastern practice used in medicine that encourages shaking your body. I love this one - bounce around, on the spot or walking, and feel the energy shift as your whole body jiggles about!

- Keep a dream diary next to your bed, just in case.

Day Two - Stretching

‘Strive to be among those who have been told they cannot but do anyway.’

Take a small gift to the mirror. It might be something from your safe space. Re-introduce yourself. Tell yourself what ‘we’, as in you and the person listening, hope to achieve today. You might discuss a dream. Press your gift up against the mirror, offering it as a gift of luck for your endeavours, and then pull it back with the feeling it has just been given to you out of love.

Today, we reach.

It is so incredibly important to be in tune with our bodies. They drive us through the world, and we can put practices in place to energise and work with them at their best. I used to despise this section of anything self-help, but wait! I promise this is fun and does not matter how limited in mobility you are.

One day, I was so fed up of treating my body badly, I downloaded The Daily Yoga app (free) and could access a ten-day beginner’s course. I had tried yoga before but found it hard to concentrate in classes. When I sat down and started, I was shockingly inflexible for my age. BUT… I was reaching for the parts of me I had lost, and that act in itself – the act of reaching out to myself – changed my relationship with my body and gave me energy.

Today is a research day. It might not be yoga. There are a billion different methods for body/mind exercises. I bet you already have one stored that you have been meaning to try. Make today the day you step into it. With a quick search, there are plenty of ways to stretch and focus and strengthen that are accessible to you. Ability is unimportant. Your willingness to try, is.

On your blanket or towel or mat, in your safe space of no judgement, honour your body today.

Here are some ideas of disciplines and who might benefit from them:

Yoga – is about breathing and stillness.

Try if: you are restless or find it hard to be still – this will be a great challenge.

Tai Chi – is very gentle movements.

Try if: you suffer with arthritis or other physical infirmities. It is a moving of trapped energy.

Pilates – a little more dynamic.

Try if: you need focus – this is a great way to bend the body and mind.

Self-defence – practices such as Kung Fu or Taekwondo are about experiencing both inner strength and disciplined awareness.

Try if: you feel completely dis-empowered.

Of course, it is always great to have a trained instructor in front of you. If, however, you do not feel this is an option right now (confidence, finances, travel), simple stretches every day, and listening to and researching advice, will work brilliantly. Hear your body. Feel the tension. The point is not to push yourself too far, but to bring your body into a pressure that can be a tool for healing. If nothing else, try to touch your toes.

You cannot rush this time spent on yourself. Remember that you committed to trying for yourself because you wanted change. Bend down and see how close you can get to your toes. Do the same again in the evening and see the difference. Aim for them with love.

If you give a whole session a go, just remember this: the most experienced yoga teachers and black belts have repeatedly fallen down and wanted to scream in frustration. Laugh at the sweat and frustration and continue with it. Move into your safe space and decide now is the time to stretch, focus on your breathing, and go about your day with an incredible surge of energy.

The thought might be unbearable. All you need to tell yourself is that you will turn up and be in the space. If you simply sit there and rotate your arms, you have still turned up and so there is cause for celebration.

If you commit to making this a habit and struggle initially, then forgive yourself and try again tomorrow. If you skip the morning session, have a great stretch before bed and sleep well. When you miss a day, you miss a day! Instead of throwing in the towel in and leaving it completely, you can continue the next morning and the missed day would soon become lost in all the days you DID try.

For those feeling defeatist, search online for: Arthur’s Yoga Story.

Day Three - Food

Find the mirror. Say hello. Recognise the person staring back at you now as the one who is always willing to have a conversation. See they are full of love, even if you are feeling particularly groggy today. Tell the you staring back what it is you plan to do with your day.

Sit in your safe space with the intention of stretching. Whether you have five minutes or fifty, use it to reach for your body in the way you decided on yesterday. One move, or just a few, or do a whole session if you’re up to it.

Then come back and find me.

We so often forget that we are free to make choices every single moment of every single day. How we start the day, how we interact, how we talk to ourselves. How we enjoy our next breath. We do – and I hate to inform you of this – also choose what we put in our bodies (after childhood).

When one of our decisions slides away from us or out of our control, we have a tendency to let it spiral. So many of us have reasons for being unable to stop ourselves, but eventually we must concede that a bad relationship with food is like any other addiction and needs healing. The reason it often doesn’t get flagged is because it is encouraged by consumerism. Unfortunately, there are plenty of warning signs that come with smoking or drinking too much, but focusing all our energy on food is a part of culture – every other advert is selling us food or weight-loss supplements.

We know that too much of the wrong stuff slows us down and keeps us heavy energetically, and we know that by not putting enough fuel in our bodies, we will go about the day feeling weak and headachy.

Know that, whatever your negative relationship with food (if there is one – be honest here), you have your reasons. The reason it becomes such a huge problem for so many of us? Because it is a part of life that we have experienced with our parents or those who raised us; if we saw unhealthy attitudes, we either ran with those habits or ran the other way. Eating, or not eating, is a way to control how the world sees us, and some do not want to be seen at all. Food goes hand in hand with safety. For example; if we do not feel safe, we do not want to be noticed – and one way to control that is by not being attractive. We overeat.

Once we have sat with ourselves and looked ourselves in the eye, the truth becomes inevitable. The lies we tell ourselves are revealed and it is time to transform our inner worlds, thus transforming our outer world.

Consider the fact that when you think about food, you might be in survival mode.

Some people never get to a therapist or counsellor, but there is someone looking out for you who wants to understand you. That person in the mirror, through which the divine speaks. The best thing you could do right now, to have a better relationship with food, is talk about the reasons why. Address the initial feelings of guilt and shame, and then after you divulge a feeling, ask yourself the question out loud: ‘and why do you feel like that?’ or ‘and how does that make you feel?’ Be your own counsellor. Be that loving force, and then reach out to someone if you feel able.
Write to yourself; place every shameful moment you can remember – in relation to food – down on paper. It may have been humiliation at a wedding when another guest pointed out what was on your plate, a parent or spouse remarking on your size in a cruel way, moments where you were self-loathing because you couldn’t stop eating when you were on your own, or a time when you starved yourself. Bring them into your conscious awareness.
For each, bring to the surface how you felt beforehand, who was there and who you wanted to please, what you hoped would be the outcome, and what really happened. Do any of these feelings have a place somewhere else in your past, even if food was not involved?

These are all stepping-stones to understanding yourself, no matter how painful they may be to dip back into. Once you have the list of your memories, take it to your safe space, and do with it what feels best. You may be crying and want to curl up with it crumpled at your heart, or you might want to beat the memories with something. You might take the pen and scribble all over the page. Sit with them. The process can be draining to begin with… The soul digging through mud to get to gold is a tiring process on the body. Rest when you need to.

Feel the shame you associate with food and then release it. Know that the same cycles and patterns do not bring about joyful change, and that you are not alone in having faced them. These memories have no place in your life now.

It is time to place your energy in new directions – this is what is known as manifestation.

Once you have your list, burn the paper or rip it up into small shreds and be rid of those feelings. They are no longer serving you. As you drop each one into the bin or fire, tell it that it does not serve you. Say, ‘you are not love. I am love.’

Return to the mirror briefly, and say, as many times as you need to: ‘I love you.’ Accept where you are in this very moment, and if those pangs of pain return, allow them, and say the words again. ‘I love you.’

- Pick up your pen and paper again, and write in large letters the words I AM. Choose three words from the list below, with an I AM before each. There’s no need to hesitate. When you feel drawn to a word, select it, because it will be true to you:

Compassionate

Beautiful

Determined

Pure

Open

Seductive

Courageous

Nurturing

Healing

Graceful

Powerful

Wild

Independent

Generous

Stick these I AMs next to the mirror. When you next have a date with yourself, look at these words, and the I AMs that come before them. Like you would a lover, tell the person in the mirror the words you picked for them.

Now move into the kitchen and have a clear out. Get rid of all the gone-off tins and do a fresh shop. After that, eat whatever feels right. Create a concoction that doesn't follow any of the rules, but you think it might work! My recommendation is, big breakfast, gentler lunch, and a snack for dinner. And WATER. You are not being asked to deny yourself anything! Simply keep speaking or writing to yourself – with love and understanding when painful memories and emotions arise.

I will not be recommending any diet plans, but…

There will be a day when humanity looks back and says, ‘they didn’t really eat animals, did they?

They put slaughtered animal in their bodies? How could they have believed that was healthy?'

When smoking was all the rage, the rich tobacco companies were allowed to tell the public smoking was good for their health.

They advertised as much, though the truth would always emerge.

No, processed meat is not good for you. Humans started out as herbivores. The moment I went vegetarian, I stopped getting ill and I had vast amounts of fresh energy in me. Plus my skin improved. How could a dead animal ever provide our bodies with nutrition and goodness?

And by that merit, anything that is the product of an injured / abused animal is also bad for the soul.

There are people being scoffed at for advocating veganism.

There is a day arriving in which it will be our way of life, so become a part of the movement now.

Be proud to be part of change.

Yes, I know you love cheese. But if you call yourself an animal lover, it is time to stop eating animals and the products of unhappy animals.

Search: Vegan Weightlifters (seriously!)

Day Four - Style

Get to the mirror. Tell yourself how wonderful it is to meet again. Speak kindly, and with an open heart. You might want to continue on with the conversations from yesterday, or focus on today, or discuss an important decision.

It is time to move into the safe space and stretch. If yoga is not working, try a beginner tai chi lesson. Give yourself the time to breathe and stretch in any form, and discover new ways to come into a knowing of your body.

Have a healthy breakfast, and a lot of water.

Then we shall re-convene!

I have a new pair of blue suede shoes! Because of the material, they sometimes look quite dark and ordinary, but when caught in the light, they dazzle a crazy, bright blue. When I saw them and decided on first look they were to be mine, I wanted to wear them everywhere.

Very quickly, I realised these shoes get noticed. People looked down at my feet because there was colour there. They do not laugh, but I was very quickly overcome with self-consciousness and stopped wearing them. The shoes I love so much were suddenly an embarrassment.

This fear has followed me in life. On one mufti day at school, I deliberated for hours over a pair of cool, high-heeled boots, or my old trainers. I switched and switched until the last minute, and then resolved to be brave and wear the boots. The whole day, I tottered around, utterly self-conscious and wanting the ground to swallow me up. I hid. Some of the unkinder girls in my class laughed at me to my face, and they laughed at me because I was not the girl I could pretend to be at home; the girl who was sexy in her boots. I felt like a fool; a fraud. The same happened when I had my haircut into a new style a couple of years later. The class bully tried to publicly humiliate me in front of everyone, and my reinvention of style was destroyed for a time.

Those feelings all come flooding back when I see a wonderful piece of clothing or a hairstyle I want to try. I have a belief, which goes back to my childhood, that I cannot carry it off and that the risk should not be taken to express myself. I give you these personal accounts because I am still attempting this one as I write it.

Now we pay attention to celebrating our unique and individual style!

Find three items of clothing that are ‘safe’ for you, for example, a stringy old pair of leggings that you wear on your unsexist days, ones you think you need – and throw them out! A tip here would be to look for black, or a glum-looking colour you own a lot of. If they can be donated, donate! Rid yourself of anything that has no style, no shape, and no joy, but you cling to. Your life is too short! It is incredibly refreshing to physically cut these up if they are past general wear and tear and cannot be donated.
Then comes the fun. Decide on a piece of clothing - it might be something you bought years ago and shoved to the back of the wardrobe because you were too scared to wear it, or a haircut you let grow out. Perhaps you decide it is time to buy something new you have seen, or to consider a tattoo. Anything that might express who you are right now.
Get rummaging or ordering or booking! You might want to go and shop right now! Be brave and colourful and a little wild…
Now there are three challenges you can choose to take on if you have the item in hand:

Wear it around the house for half an hour.

Wear it while briefly running an errand out of the house.

Wear it with pride for the whole day!

Place your new object inside your safe space, or if you don’t quite have it yet, take a picture of it with you.

Days three and four are linked, for if you get in touch with your sense of style and are prepared to be bold, even if just at home, you are more likely to be aware of what you are putting in your body. Your sense of self-worth increases! In turn, as you feel better about yourself for the respect you are paying your body, you enter a wonderful new cycle of positivity.

You are unique, divine, and your style is yours to own. No matter how small the risk you took today, you expressed the light of the soul within. If and when those feelings of shame and guilt arise, or perhaps a bout of unworthiness, say ‘okay – I will not fight you’ to them and go back to all the many forms of expression there are. If you say no to anger and hurt, and all the other negative emotions, you also say no to everything that is positive. This is when being alone with oneself feels insufferable.

Say yes to it all. Allow everything to wander in and be felt.

And then…

Release!

(Oh dear… That leads us tumbling into the next chapter…)

Introduction

Preparation

Day One - Mirror

Day Two

Day Three

Day Four

Day Five

Day Six

Day Seven

Day Eight

Day Nine

Day Ten

Day Five - Sensuality

First, find the time to say at least one sentence in the mirror, and stretch at least one hamstring. Then cook at least one leaf of spinach, put on your new bright yellow trilby, and return…

Ok, don’t shy away from me!

What we know about the true power of intimacy, sensuality, and orgasms is like a scrape of bark from a tree, or one sparkle in a wave. Each person has a different experience with sexual pleasure and desire, and yet it is something that unites us. Whether we shy away from it or embrace it, we are born from it.

Again, as with so many of these chapters, an inherent theme is shame. Shame of any desire at all. Shame of wanting to be dominated. Shame of wanting to be dominating. Shame of touching ourselves. Shame of letting go and losing all control. Shame of buying a vibrator or sexy underwear. Shame of homosexual thoughts. Shame of anything other than the 'norm.

Understand this - if you do not face your darkness, you become a danger to yourself and those around you.

The hero's journey in tarot faces every level of the psyche, and that includes intimacy.

This feeling of shame feeds the darker aspects of our character – hence the devastating state of the porn industry.

Repressions cause us to clog up and distance ourselves from our true desires. Desire can be the most powerful tool in directing us in life choices, but we can only use this well if we strive to understand our sexual selves. Think of it this way: if we are unaware of what job we would most like to do and do not try to find out where our heart wants to be, we will more than likely end up in a dead-end job. We do not know what to aim for because we do not know what we deserve. Same goes for sexuality: if we are unaware of our true desires, we end up in loveless relationships that become lost and stale.

Of course, many millions of women and men have experienced sexual abuse and rape. This experience can lead to destructive feelings and thought patterns, and, when aware of it, it is so important to acknowledge and seek help in healing. Knowing our desires can be hard when desire feels so unsafe. If you feel petrified to even read this day’s shift, please seek help, or simply start by talking to yourself in the mirror or writing down your feelings and connecting to your body.

Healing is possible. It is in everyone.

Get yourself to your safe space and allow for the beginning of a healing journey.

Today’s task is extremely personal, and I do not want to be intrusive or direct you. What you do today is up to you, and I will not guide other than to make a few suggestions. It goes without saying that it is important to get yourself to a comfortable spot where you can close your eyes and not be disturbed:

- Touch. Perhaps a foot or hand massage is enough, or a good place to start. If you are just getting to know yourself in this way, make it a priority to explore slowly, knowing that nothing has to be forced. A bath is the best way to feel sensual for complete beginners approaching intimacy. It feels clean, and it is easy to embrace the fluidity of the water.

- If the above makes you feel uncomfortable, there are ways to experience orgasm without physical touch. There are breathing exercises and focused meditations that can guide you into the spot of the womb that gifts us the orgasm. Breathe into that spot in your lower abdomen; feel the air from the inhale search for it inside you. There is a physical place that everyone has – we’ll call it the Life Force Dot, and it makes ecstasy accessible in a heartbeat.

- Or perhaps you wish to lay down and drift off into fantasy. My most recommended visualisation, which could be called a meditation of sorts, uses nature as a source of power. Imagine being in an empty field; the soil, grass, flowers, and roots of the trees underneath your body, and a warm, gentle breeze on your skin from above. Feel the earth very much alive beneath you, nurturing your body with the feminine presence. The masculine energy of the air sweeps over, protective. You can allow anything to happen – for the roots to move around you in an embrace, keeping you safe, or for a gentle drizzle to fall, or you can get caught up in a full storm! Notice the time of day – it might be a sunrise of fresh opportunity, midday warmth, or sunset; when dream moves in.

Travel through the scenes with your senses; the smell of the earth in the sun or rain, the bark of the tree, the sensation of the plants, the colours in your vision, and the sound of the wind.

There is no saying where this will lead, and how far you take yourself into this space. When it comes to sex, we have so many pre-conceived notions that we ‘should’ climax, or that we ‘haven’t got it right’. Your body knows what it wants to do, and it is merely your job to follow it and go along for the ride. Perhaps it will start for you with a lot of frustration and a little buzz. You do not have to be screaming and thrashing about to be experiencing an orgasm. You have to be present.

The reason this experience is powerful is because it does not focus on any power another person might have over you. We often hand over our power and offer it up to external energies, even in daydream -- whether it is a spouse or a distant celebrity. Nature is the power that moves through us all, and so to become a part of it and feel it inside you is not only a sensual experience, but an energetically charging one.

Visit your safe space and talk / write / sing / dance about the experience. Describe what you felt and where; whether you felt comfortable touching yourself or whether that is something you would like to work towards. Be aware of what tensions you held in your body, for during an orgasm these are highlighted. Ask yourself if you were able to release them. Orgasm is about the release of tension and energy.

The only judgement is coming from yourself, and by staying present with it, you can and will release such feelings.

Further reading:

Ankh energy cycle - uses the power of orgasm to re-energise the body.

Chi energy – is used for creativity and is about understanding celibacy and holding energy at a time when we are being creative. This can be brilliant for our art.

Tantra – reconnecting with self or partner (with the help of a teacher).

Day Six – Creativity!

‘Making art is making fire. We didn’t invent fire. It existed for all of time; it is part of the elements – a phenomenon. We can come along with two sticks and create a spark where fire can flourish. MAKE SPARKS!’

Connect with the mirror and have a conversation with your soul, stretch so that today is the day you reach your toes, stir love into your breakfast, wear a kimono, and give yourself a massage! Then go back to bed because it was all too much self-love. Or perhaps it wasn’t, because it can all be done in a matter of minutes with a little practice and a willingness to turn up.

Today, you will need; three pieces of paper, two pens, and a camera (phone is fine). And a little bit of confidence to start - there is more on this here: In Art, There Is No Tomorrow

These tasks are to be done without hesitation, but with a child-like adventurous feel to them. Switch and swap. Go back to each of these little projects when the time feels right. They are not to be done in any particular order. Be as free with them as you are willing to be! There is no wrong or right, good or bad.

Have a taste of each, and pick three to spend a little more time on. If you have one as a hobby, why not try three new ones instead? These are expressions, and they are for you and you alone:

- Grab a pen and paper. Start drawing lines and let it turn into something. Anything. Find colour if you want colour! You don’t have to paint the Sistine Chapel – just express.

- Find another piece of paper. Write a poem or a brief story. Think of a character you’ve had in your head or a story based on something you can see and take it a little further. It can be two lines or a thousand.

- Take the two pens to hand and make up a rhythm on the edge of the table, or on your hand, or wherever. For five minutes, get lost in the feel of making a little music.

- Take a picture with your camera – an abstract self-portrait. Play around, making it lopsided if that’s how you see the world today. Turn it black and white, make it bright. Express yourself in it. Look down the lens or give it a far-off, milky eyed feel.

- Make up a dance. It can be any kind of dance, with any kind of intensity. You can start by making up a dance with your hands (or even just your fingers) if trying with your whole body feels daunting.

- Sing! Words you find inspiring, or ones you make up as you go along. Find a hymn you love, or a Buddhist chant to follow. Or rap if you’re feeling really brave!

Take all these to your safe space, and for a moment just admire the act of creating. It does not matter how somebody else would judge your spelling or your colouring outside the lines. You created art. Picasso’s best work was drawn / made when he found the child in himself again and let that wild, untamed Picasso unleash itself on the paper. He started to make art how he saw the world. He gave himself the freedom in his mind to blitz all the standards before him.

You never know... You might have just given yourself a really great idea that will be worth taking further.

Additional:

- Get to an art gallery. If that’s not possible, do an image search on a theme you like in particular (be specific – could be artwork from a particular country, time period or movement) and see how some of the images spark a reaction in you.

- Haikus are simple snaps of poetry consisting of three sentences, 5/7/5 syllables. Search for haikus around a subject you feel emotional about. Find a couple and keep them with you.

- Listen to some music that inspires you. Listen to some of your favourite, long-lost music, or look into different music you wouldn’t have previously listened to. Follow the pathway to new sound! Perhaps you’ll even take up a new instrument…

Day Seven – Stillness

We know what to do. Get about that daily routine. We’re one week in, and if we are committed to this new way of being, our conversations with ourselves will soon be becoming comfortable and empowering, our stretching will be reminding us of our connection to our body – we will understand the importance of treating it better, and hopefully we will be feeling more inclined to be a little braver in our decisions.

If we have let it slip, that’s okay - just see which days you have shied from. We might have been afraid of a chapter or didn’t feel we had the time. The issue is, we won’t learn to respect and honour ourselves if we don’t make time. Here’s the thing: we cannot be of use to our children or elderly parents or many friends if we are strung out and unable to take care of ourselves.

It’s half an hour of our day. Our souls shine through us when we give them the space to do so! Life becomes more about living our truth, and less about holding onto fear.

Your safe space should have a lot of company now. Ensure it is not crowded, but simply supported with love. Move some bits about to make it feel fresh. Straighten the blanket. Adjust your artwork and the image of your fresh new style item.

Today, after all the excitement, is the day to be still and rest (unwittingly referencing the bible, with it being the seventh day!)

Get comfy in your safe space, cross-legged. Make sure a window is slightly open, so you can feel the fresh air.

First, spend some time breathing in and out through your nose gently. Fill yourself with a white light all the way to the ends of your fingers and toes. Let it release anything that feels stuck in you. Feel the tensions in your head, and release them, and then your neck, etc… moving all the way through your body, releasing them all as you go.

When you have released from your feet, and you are fully relaxed, it is time to reflect on the conversations you have been having with yourself, the words you have written, the art you have drawn, and the energy you have felt move through you.

Here, we might be struck by certain words or pangs in our body. We might feel the pride or embarrassment at wearing a new piece of clothing. It is so important to remember that there are no right and wrong feelings here. If we are having a negative morning, or are still struggling to love ourselves… That. Is. Okay. Such healing takes time if we have not been able to speak honestly with ourselves for a long while. What we can do is know that this creates new energy flows inside us; that what has been repressed is moving up as we speak and write and stretch ourselves and our imagination. Perhaps we are having vivid dreams, or our drawings are telling us where we are, or we can see where we are closing off to love in intimacy.

Each step of the way, we must simply remind ourselves that we are worth it. We are worth this journey; this effort we are making. One day, all the negative feelings will be the mode of transport we use to reach out and support or encourage others. One day, we will get there. Spending time alone and speaking to ourselves with respect is the way to start.

For this next exercise, you do not need to share my beliefs. You simply need to imagine.

Imagine that we plan our lives.

For a moment, let’s say that we decided (before we were born) on the people who would come into our life, the challenges we might face, and the reason we wanted to be here. It is important to do this from the soul, or spirit, perspective; as an all-knowing being who is made of light and can take a step back from the suffering we may have experienced in life. The eternal you.

Take the most significant challenges and people that/who have come into your life – and see if you can discover the reason for them being there. If you struggle, think of the areas of yourself you avoid and need work on; do you lack respect for yourself and so find yourself being treated badly? Are you always needing to be in control and so find the universe constantly delivers you unexpected incidents?

Having a broken heart might have made us appreciate what love really means to us, or it might be that we wanted to go through this life learning to live without that person; to learn that it is our relationship with the divine we should be focusing on. If we are waiting for love, perhaps being single has given us the opportunity to look inside and love ourselves so that the eventual relationship we have will be healthy. For those who still harbour grief, losing someone at a young age might have made us appreciate how fleeting life is, and that every moment is one to be treasured. It might also have strengthened our compassion and allowed us to form a support group, or be open to talking with others who are experiencing grief.

For each person and challenge, just hold, for a moment, this possibility. Imagine that we experience many lives of different wealth, races, religions, loves, and deaths, and that some souls who are familiar to us have been alongside us many times. Feel supported, knowing that if it were true, there would be guiding light leading us through these times. Also consider that we might have come here simply to be a friend to someone who felt they needed us.

Consider that you are totally and utterly divine, and that no judgement is ever made of you; not for suicidal thoughts, for anger or blame, for any regrets, or for the damage you may do to your body.

You are not judged unless you become a judge yourself.

Let all of it go once it has been heard and feel bathed in divine light for a few moments. Understand that the only peace that will last is the one you offer yourself through the grace of the divine, because you have made the effort to create a connection.

Silence in meditation is the best way forward. Rumi said – ‘silence is the language of God’, but here are some helpful sounds to listen to if you want to start out:

Binaural beats

Shamanic drums

Nature sounds

World music

Day Eight – Risks

‘When you have the least faith in something… That’s when to go for it.’

Morning conversation, stretches, big breakfast, have the orgasm, rock the style, and paint a masterpiece… Silence.

Risks. The first word that springs to mind will either be hazard or dare. Some people thrive on risks; they pitch their life on one move and hope for the best. Others edge very carefully in one direction over many years.

Sometimes, though, we are not edging at all. We feel as though we are barely surviving, or making ends meet, or keeping everyone happy. There appears to be no room in our life for risks whatsoever, and we invite nothing new into our path. For someone who craves comfort, risks seem foolish. And for most of us, much of the time, comfort seems the safer option.

Sit or lie in your safe space, window open a little, and take ten of those slow, deep breaths that fill your body with light and energy. Acknowledge and release your fears for your future, your finances, and your health as best you can.

Bring to mind a drastic change you wish to make in life. For you.

Something you’ve been wanting to change for a while. Feel the dissatisfaction WITHOUT finding a solution just yet, and simply flood it with determination to imagine change. Whether it is something huge, like changing a career path, moving to a new country, or deciding to end an unhealthy relationship, or something smaller like de-cluttering – doesn’t matter. Whatever takes you out of your comfort zone, but has been bugging you for a long time; bring that to mind.

Feel that desire start to turn in your gut.

Make that connection in your core.

And imagine it changing, just like that.

See in your mind that once-problem area now become the best part of your life. Remember that you are safe here, and you are not being asked to make any decisions or sudden movements. When we see a problem, we usually send our energy down into past experiences of being rejected or failing. Now, however, we know to sit in silence so that the energy can move in new directions. When the energy flows into the unknown through accepting all possibilities, new seeds of change are born.

Hold that wonderful vision with you.

Now, with that desire, act on it from the present. Set it in motion in your imagination. See the cogs start to turn and grind against each other. What will the first reaction / result be? The first hurdle in the step is often the reason we don’t jump at all, because it is the cause of friction and fear of judgement. We fear others turning to us and saying, ‘what? No, you can’t do that!’ Whether someone does or doesn’t believe in your vision, are you going to let anything external keep you from what is in your heart? And if the answer is yes, how are you going to feel about that on your deathbed?

After the initial reactions, think only about the very first step or the very big picture. Focus on NOTHING in between that first step and the end goal. If you start to concern yourself with how much money you will have left or that you might lose touch with people you love, you will be drawn back to your tight, rigid patterns. Each time you face a hurdle, address what is right in front of you. For a writer, this is writing the first word of a book. For someone who wants to buy shares, it is doing the first minute of research into how the stock market works. If your dream is to be an astronaut, start looking at astrophysics. You will soon realise that anything not meant for you isn't really in your heart. And then you can let it go.

An important thing to remember during this exercise: when we take risks in life, we are rewarded. When we open to new energies, many opportunities and people come our way. Sometimes, the blind, ‘I’m going to keep the faith’ is all we have, and still – we come through the other end. And better for it.

See these solutions when you face imagined problems that come up. See the opportunities that will arrive on your doorstep, not that which is blocking you. See the people you could meet. See the joy that could be had from following your heart. All else will fall away.

Write the vision down or draw a path to a picture of it (in code if need be) and keep it in your safe space!

Lives are lived out in a matter of years. These years pass us by until we turn round and wonder where they went. Our most treasured memories are of moments in which we were willing to place our faith in whatever our heart was intent on doing, and in doing so, this led us onward. Remaining open to learning is key to a fulfilled life.

Life is not about striving for success. It is about moving and honouring and being and seeing and doing and discovering and loving and risking. That in itself is success.

Keep that vision burning bright in your heart. You are not separate from it. You are it. Live it.

We are often badgered by our desires until we pay them some attention. If you are worried about the finances, paper comes and goes. If you have enough now, then now is the time. If you are worried about responsibilities you have, see a time in which there are less people dependent on you. Envision it. If there are years to wait before you can fully follow your desire, then make every other step towards it now. Start those little steps. Know where you’re going.

New energy is coming in.

It is for you.

It is loving.

This is because you are learning to love yourself.

Day Nine – Understanding

There are many things that seek our understanding in life, and many things that simply are.

It is the difference between these two that leaves us lost. We strive to understand somebody else’s intentions, but are indifferent to understanding our own, when really, we should be striving to understand only our own. What is out there, the world and its people, are moving in their own energy flows. Everyone is learning lessons and taking their own paths.

It is for us to nurture the whirring energy in our core, and keep it turning and shining within ourselves. It is very true that the entire universe is held in each of us. The light of a higher power shines through anyone who allows it to. When we dig out all our crap and make ourselves vessels for the divine, stepping out into the world emitting this light, we will evoke positive change. We do not need to talk or even feel the need to smile. We simply need the independent strong and loving presence within us to have an effect on what is going on around us.

When we learn the art of self-love, this is what happens.

The way we become that person is to communicate with ourselves. If it is to talk in the mirror, write a letter to ourselves in the past, present or future, or to give ourselves a foot massage, there are so many ways to speak and let it be known that there is no judgement for feelings that arise. Have a safe space always, to return to when life feels too heavy. Let it be a space to release, cleanse, stretch, pray, and subsequently, heal.

Once our self-respect is on the up because we have made the intention to rediscover it, we become a – quite literal – beacon of light. You picking up this book and reaching this point is all the knowledge of yourself you need. You are in search of the divine.

After these moments of being with the divine, life returns. To begin with, anything external can knock us off our course, and we feel thrown by the first negative person we encounter. The best advice here is to be firm but kind. Keep returning to silence. Understand the pain that person might be in. Understand that the divine works with our world, and leaving your dead end job to wonderful horizons – even though you feel you’ve already outgrown it – might take a bit of time.

Some of the most difficult people we meet – the beggars who shove an empty hat under our nose, the alcoholics who refuse to sober up, or somebody focused only on how inadequate we are – could be here to help us gain understanding. Consider it.

The universe works in mysterious ways, and so do we as souls.

In order to understand, we must be prepared to accept that much of life is not as it seems.

Remember that when we are reacting to somebody, we are reacting to a part of ourselves we are unwilling to face. When we say, ‘I swear they were put here to test me!’ – bear in mind that this could be true. Most likely, you are being tested.

Have respect for everyone you meet – but most importantly, learn to respect and understand where your reactions are coming from, because then they can then heal and melt away.

Just as all life stems from one source, all other love stems from this knowing.

Day Ten - All

‘The best moments in life are not the ones of belief or disbelief, but where you turned around and realised that something miraculous was so natural that it just happened of its own accord.’

Wake up! Thank you for joining me until the end, you wonderful human.

You can do all of the below in a matter of minutes… (Just saying)

- Get to the mirror. Say thank you, a huge thank you, to yourself for making this commitment and staying with it.

- Move to your safe space. Stretch, even if just for five minutes. I hope your toes are now at least in sight!

- Make and cherish a wholesome breakfast – along with a large glass of water. Energise.

- That new clothing that you found or bought – try it on. Maybe even decide today will be the day you wear it out.

- At some point today, find the time to lay down, or close your eyes, and feel into your sexual energy.

- With that energy, make some art! Write, paint, dance, or sing. Anything you like.

- Make time to tap into your body. If there is pain arising, be aware and mindful of it. If this is emotional, find a way to express it, and if it is physical, be still with it to see if you can find its source.

- Keep that vision. That wild vision you have for a huge change. Keep it alive in you.

- If you go out today, do so with understanding. We are all moving through our challenges.

As you can see, there is little time to be morose when we truly spend time with ourselves! There is always so much to learn. We have constantly been searching for new teachers to guide us – and of course, learning from another can be a joy – but we often only need look inside for our own true wisdom. Inside us is our soul, and that soul is connected to the greater soul of wisdom. No one holds the wisdom you seek. It is in you, and you will find it when you are prepared to talk to yourself and reach for your toes and be still when your mind is going wild. You have done this for yourself, and it is your responsibility to keep doing it for yourself.

Expression is key. Express safely, and not with those who encourage negative behaviour – the ones who will say, ‘you need a bottle of wine’ or ‘be grateful that you have a job at all’. Listen only to the divine -- to silence -- for this is the way to move into a deeper understanding. We experience a fresh future, and we feel physically lighter. We can heal our bad habits and addictions when we move into this space, and only then.

Read the teachings of religious or spiritual leaders who resonate with you, but remember to take them forward with you in a way that will bring the divine to you and everyone you meet. Do not get tangled up. Go straight to the source of all things -- love.

We are always faced on the outside with what we are experiencing on the inside.

When we are aware of the divinity on the inside, the world can reflect this back at us. You have been working with a mirror all week. See the mirror everywhere. In dreams, everyone you meet, and everything you do. Every word you speak hits a mirror and rebounds. Every next moment is one where you can experience change, but every moment right now is one where you can experience yourself.

Love to you x